Don't dim your light to be liked. Light it up to live.
From a young age I learned that being seen is not always pretty .
Not all looks are warm.
Not all compliments heal.
And that often, what hurts the most... is having to apologize for being you.
For years, I lived through two very different types of experiences, which marked me deeply:
🌙 One with the women.
🌞 Another one with the men.
And both of them conditioned how I saw myself, how I connected with others, and how I supported myself emotionally.
What happened to me with women
Since childhood, I had "unpleasant" encounters with other girls.
Situations where I did nothing to make people dislike me… but I "made people dislike me" anyway.
Indirectly. Subtly. Silently.
They were my “friends”, but they acted like my “enemies”.
Just for being. For existing.
To attract attention... or simply to have light.
Sometimes they were seemingly harmless comments:
— “I’m not inviting you to my party because you’re going to steal the boys from me.”
— “Everyone likes you just because you’re blonde.”
— “A friend says that at the disco you walk upright and seem to look down your nose at everyone.”
And I was thinking… what am I doing wrong?
The internal response was brutal:
Nothing. I'm just being.
And apparently, that's enough to make them uncomfortable.
That led me to adapt.
Not to be overlooked.
To smile too much.
To strive to make a good impression from the very first second.
To quiet down a little so that no one would feel less than me.
Not out of arrogance. Not out of superiority.
But for protection. Out of habit.
Out of sheer fear of feeling rejected by other women again simply because of my presence.
And that wound was the one that was hardest for me to see.
Because, deep down, I too longed to be loved by them.
I also wanted a network of real friends, who would see me and celebrate me.
But what he often received was judgment, comparison, or silence.
And I say this firmly and without guilt:
When a woman criticizes you for taking care of yourself, for being disciplined, for showing yourself off, for feeling beautiful, for being consistent, for loving yourself… she's not talking about you. She's talking about herself.
🧨 He talks about his discomfort.
🧨 From their unsustainable choices.
🧨 From the part of her that hasn't yet had the courage to do what you're doing.
Because it's easier to call you "intense" than to admit that you struggle to commit to your health.
It's easier to think you're "conceited" than to look at yourself and wonder why it makes you uncomfortable to see you confident.
And it's easier to mock your perseverance than to confront your own self-sabotage.
And you didn't come here to support all that.
You are not responsible for anyone's projections.
Your presence is not a threat: it is a mirror.
So if you choose to take care of yourself, commit to yourself, work on yourself… and that upsets or bothers you…
Let whoever has to do the work do it.
You keep going.
Because you didn't come to put out your fire so that others wouldn't feel cold.
You came to light it up, to remind us all that we can too.
What happened to me with men
With the boys, it was a different kind of impact.
There was no judgment... but neither was there any depth.
They looked at me. They desired me. They flattered me.
But when I asked why they had noticed me, the answer was always the same:
— “Because of your beauty.”
And yes… thank you. But inside, that hurt me.
Because back then I thought:
What if one day I'm not so pretty? What if I gain weight? What if I get old? Will you stop loving me if I'm not perfect?
That superficial validation taught me to constantly measure myself.
To monitor my image. To feel "valuable" only when I looked beautiful.
And when I didn't... I felt less.
My self-esteem was trapped in a mirror.
And I began to live as if love were conditional on my physical appearance.
As if the "imperfect" version of me... didn't deserve to be loved just the same.
🔥 This was the result:
I felt insecure around women, and pressured by men.
With some, I hid. With others, I demanded things of myself.
And in no space did I feel completely free to be myself.
And that wear and tear... you carry it inside.
Until one day you say: enough.
Stop shrinking away so as not to bother anyone.
I'm done trying so hard to please everyone.
Enough of having to justify my light or apologize for shining.
✨ What changed my life was this:
Understanding that everything is energy.
What you attract is related to what you believe about yourself.
When you vibrate with insecurity, you attract relationships that don't value you.
And when you begin to heal your roots, everything starts to align.
Since I chose myself—for real—
Life began to bring me beautiful, luminous women, without masks.
Women who shine brightly, but who don't compete.
They don't look at you with judgment, but with admiration.
Women who understand that brilliance is contagious, not stolen.
🧠 And I understood something else:
Beautiful people are often the most insecure.
Not out of vanity.
But because they have lived under a constant spotlight.
They have been reduced to an image.
And that creates an invisible pressure:
The pressure to always be at your best. Always up to par.
The inability to show vulnerability without someone seeing it as a fall.
But not anymore.
Today I choose to show myself completely.
With light and with shadow.
With strength and with fear.
With beauty and with truth.
💫 If you've felt this way too…
If you've ever hidden yourself for fear of making others uncomfortable…
If it hurt you to be judged for taking care of yourself, dressing up, or showing yourself off…
If your brilliance caused someone to distance themselves, or to criticize you…
This message is for you.
You are not alone.
You are not broken.
And you don't have to choose between being liked or being yourself.
🌿 I propose this small AORIS ritual:
-
Close your eyes for a moment.
-
Place your hand on your chest.
-
Ask yourself quietly:
— What parts of myself did I turn off to fit in?
— What did I learn about myself in my relationships with women? And with men?
— When did I start measuring my worth by how I looked?
— Who do I keep asking for approval to feel good enough?
— What if I choose myself again today, even if I'm not perfect?
🌬️ Breathe.
🌸 Caress yourself tenderly.
☀️ And remember this:
💛 You didn't come here to be liked.
💛 You came to BE.
💛 And when you are fearless... the world transforms.
May AORIS be that space where you can return to yourself, without judgment.
Where shining is not dangerous, but sacred.
Where healing is a daily, conscious, and free act.
And where no woman ever has to shrink back to belong.
With love,
Ingrid
🌞 AORIS — the light that is born from within
