There was a time when I lacked nothing.
She walked lightly.
She laughed alone.
I felt that the world, despite its cracks, was a safe place inside me.
But something changed.
Little by little, without realizing it, I began to drift away from home.
From my center.
From that part of me that was enough, that was light, that was life.
I did it out of love and fear at the same time.
I did it looking for a hug that wouldn't let go.
I did it by giving myself completely, hoping that by emptying myself someone would want to fill me with him.
And I got lost.
I got lost in the glances of others.
I got lost in external validations.
I lost myself in the hunger to be chosen, to be enough, to be loved.
When everything breaks
When everything broke, it wasn't just the world outside that crumbled.
It was me.
The foundations on which I had built my days crumbled.
Shared dreams, projects I once believed to be firm, and presences I thought would be eternal faded away.
Everything that felt like home—people, places, certainties—shattered.
And with that, my self-image was also shattered.
And it hurt.
It hurt more than I ever thought I could bear.
The absence hurt.
The silence hurt.
It hurt that old invisible promise that if I gave my all, someone would hold me up.
There were nights when the silence was so dense that breathing was an act of courage.
There were days when I couldn't find a single reason to get up.
There were times when I wondered if I would ever feel alive again.
The soul is not broken
And yet, I didn't die. It was my light that, intact and silent, decided to stay.
It wasn't force.
It was surrender.
It was not hope.
It was acceptance.
I surrendered to the pain.
I surrendered to the void.
I surrendered to loneliness.
I surrendered to the profound truth that no one could save me but myself.
And then, in the harshest silence, in the longest night, something happened.
It wasn't an explosion.
It was not a miracle.
It was a whisper.
A faint heartbeat.
A warm tear that didn't come from sadness, but from something much older: the soul returning home.
Return to you
That's when I understood.
I understood that waking up was not about finding something new outside.
It was remembering who I had always been , underneath all my desire to be loved.
It was about returning to my essence.
It was remembering my light.
It was embracing my darkness without asking anyone's permission.
The emptiness he feared so much was not the end.
It was the door.
The loneliness he feared so much was not a punishment.
It was the cure.
Today I choose to give myself first.
Today I choose to take care of my fire so that it illuminates , not so that it burns out.
Today I know that true love does not require me to stop being myself,
but rather invites me to be more myself than ever.
If you also feel this emptiness...
And perhaps you, who are reading this, have also felt that emptiness.
That raw loneliness.
That silent longing to be seen, chosen, held.
If so, I embrace you from the bottom of my heart.
Not to tell you that the pain passes quickly.
Not to promise you that life will become easy.
But to remind you that the soul does not break .
The soul hides sometimes, yes.
He gets tired.
He falls silent.
But he doesn't die.
Never dies.
And the moment you stop looking outside for what you have inside , the moment you let go of the hunger for love, the moment you look at yourself at your worst and still say:
"Here I am. I won't leave you alone."
that will be your true awakening.
Not when they applaud you.
Not when someone chooses you.
Not when everything is calm.
It will be in the earthquake.
It will be in silence.
It will be up to you.
Because sometimes, just when everything falls apart,
when there is nothing left,
when there is only you with your ruins and your naked soul,
there, without warning,
without noise,
you begin to wake up.
And believe me: there is no greater miracle than that.
How to start waking up?
There is no single path.
Every soul finds its way home.
But if you're in that dark place today, if you feel like you've hit rock bottom, maybe these little seeds can help you get started:
Little seeds to come home
🌿 Allow yourself to feel everything.
Pain, anger, emptiness, sadness. Don't run away. Don't hide. Everything you feel has something to teach you.
🌿 Stay with you.
Don't try to fill the silence. Don't try to have others cover up your wound. Stay. Embrace yourself as you would have liked to be embraced.
🌿 Stop demanding that you be strong all the time.
Being vulnerable is also strength. Crying is also healing.
🌿 Honor your rhythms.
Don't beat yourself up if you don't see quick changes. Awakening isn't a destination. It's a slow, loving return.
🌿 Make space for yourself.
Walk in nature. Write down what you feel. Create small sacred moments where your soul can breathe.
🌿 Remember that your soul does not need to be saved.
She just needs to be heard. And you're the only one capable of doing that.
Every little gesture, every little decision not to abandon you,
It is an act of love that brings you a little closer to yourself.
There's no hurry.
There is no right way.
There is only one heartbeat inside you that knows the way back home.
Listen to it.
Trust.
Let go.
And allow your soul, little by little, to shine again.
With love, Ingrid