Why a breakup might be the biggest awakening of your life
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the responsibility we hold over the people we choose to let into our lives.
After a breakup, it’s easy to blame the other person. To point fingers. And yes, maybe they made mistakes.
But focusing on that… doesn’t transform you.
The truly hard —and brave— thing is to turn inward.
And hold that gaze.
Because looking within hurts.
But it also sets you free.
The conversation we avoid (but need the most)
This time, after my last breakup, I chose something different.
No running.
No distractions.
No sugarcoating what I felt.
Just stop. Breathe. And have the most honest conversation I’ve ever had:
the one I owed myself.
No excuses.
No self-deceit.
No masks.
And there, stripped bare, I saw myself.
I saw what still hurt.
I saw what I kept repeating.
I saw all the things I hadn’t yet learned to hold alone.
Feeling to heal: when not escaping becomes the first step
This time I didn’t numb the pain.
I didn’t bury it under social plans, screen time or productivity.
This time, I felt it.
I felt the abandonment.
The disappointment.
The loneliness.
And I realized something:
feeling everything doesn’t break you.
Feeling everything brings you back to yourself.
The courage to stay — even when you’re broken
Healing isn’t easy.
Not everyone can face themselves without a filter.
But this time, I chose to stay.
To not escape.
To live inside my own skin.
And from there —from that raw place— something new began to grow:
a different kind of strength.
One that doesn’t depend on anyone.
One that doesn’t need permission to exist.
4 questions that transformed my healing journey
-
What am I expecting from others that I’m not giving to myself?
– Behind what you seek lies what you truly need to build within. -
What emotional pattern am I repeating in my relationships?
– That pattern is rooted in a wound waiting to be seen with love. -
What fear am I avoiding — abandonment, loneliness, rejection?
– Fear doesn’t disappear. But it transforms when you stop running from it. -
What uncomfortable emotion am I numbing with distractions?
– Anxiety is the scream of a feeling you haven’t allowed yourself to feel.
Don’t run from yourself: pause and look inward
Pause for a moment.
Breathe.
Place your hand on your heart.
When was the last time you really inhabited yourself?
How many times have you begged to be seen…
while you were the one needing your own gaze the most?
There is no freedom if you keep running.
There is no healthy love if you avoid your shadow.
This time I stayed.
Even broken. Even tired.
And from that place, something true emerged:
the kind of freedom that comes from not pretending anymore.
An invitation for you: choose to feel
If you’re in a moment of heartbreak, grief or confusion,
I invite you to try something different this time:
What if you don’t run?
What if you feel it all?
What if you ask yourself the hard questions that could bring you back to you?
It’s not easy.
But it’s powerful.
Because the thing you fear to face the most…
is exactly what’s waiting to be set free.
Final mantra: if you tremble, it’s not because you’re breaking
I’m not asking you to be strong.
Just to be honest.
Just to stay.
Just to stop running.
And if you tremble…
it doesn’t mean you’re breaking.
It means, finally, you’re opening.
With love,
Ingrid